Thoughts: I Appreciate Christian Pick-Up Lines

From a Facebook group named, 'I Appreciate Christian Pick-Up Lines'. I know know what I've been doing wrong for the last 7 years. Here are some, they are NOT recommendations; apart from maybe the "Marry me!" one, but not as a pick up line.

Nice bible.

Is this pew taken?

I just don't feel called to celibacy.

What, this here? Oh.. thats my study bible - It's a little bigger but I can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight.

Shall we tithe?

At points in my life I have been referred to as Samson.

The word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?

I didnt believe in predestination until tonight.

I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.

I went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was mission you.

I sacrifice my Sunday mornings to look after the creche group. Its tough... but I love children.

I have a job.

Biblegateway happens to be my homepage.

Marry me.

Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?

I have many sponsor children. One in each developing nation.

I'm one of the fortunate ones; Greek and Hebrew come pretty easily to me.

My favorite species of vegetation is the church plant.

Did i just have mud rubbed in my eyes?

Now i know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you.

Bathsheba had nothing on you.

You put the 'cute' back in persecution.

Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.

How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?

How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?

Unfortunately I can't perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.

So, my parents are home, you wanna come over?

Welcome to the Christian family; the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other.

You can come crash at mine tonight. I have a separate room prepared.

I'm interested in full time ministry, and not only that; I also play the guitar.

I arrange the substantial christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. Coffee?

I sit with my mum at church.

Not a big fan of your last name, but that's cool, I can change that.

I have a bible verse tattoo. It's permanent, It's also in ancient Greek.

I consider myself to be fisher of women. This would be referred to as, 'Casting my net'.

I'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days.

I prayed up the front at church tonight.

Look, you're nearly 22. Most Christians are 3 years into marriage by now. Just settle for me.

Who's your favorite apostle?

You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo.

All I'm looking for is a Godly woman. I don't care that you're not attractive.

You float my ark.

Do you need prayer? Because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.

As Shammah the son of Agee a Hararite protected the field of lentils, so I wish to protect you.

If you were a leper, I would still hold your hand. Even if it wasnt attached.

So last night I was reading in the book of Numbers, and then I realized, I don’t have yours.

Hey, I’m Will. God’s will. (Tip: Your name should actually be Will)

You put the “stud” in bible study.

I didn’t know angels flew this low.

I’m no Joseph, maybe you can help me interpreting the dreams I’ve been having about you?

Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you?

Is your name Faith? ‘Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for.

I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.

Is this the transfiguration; because you are glowing?

Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.

Let me sell you an indulgence because it’s a sin to look as good as you do.

Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.

Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

Want to practice speaking in tongues with me?

What’s your name and number so I can add you to my “prayer” list?

I just want you to know, I’m praying for you… No, I’m praying “FOR” you.

Here’s my number… Call me if you need prayer.

I’m usually not very prophetic, but I can see us together.