Experiences: Inadequate

Today I found out that one of my young people that always seemed so on fire has probably been having difficulties all this time and I’ve missed each and every signs, but can now painfully see them all. I, in some ways, neglected many of the “further along” young people for the ones struggling with more obvious issues. In my short time as a youthworker this is the second time I feel partially responsible for such loss; although this is not yet the end of the story; for either of them.

Teenage years are most confusing as we move from being dependant to being independent. But the problem is that, unknown to many; there is a next step from independence to inter-dependence. The trust and support in and of others is part of what makes us human. Surrounding this problem is an innumerable list of issues that must and can only be worked out by the person to whom they face. The search for truth, purpose, new and exciting experiences, true friendships and individuality can become clouded by an overwhelming and constant bombardment of emotions and peer-pressure.

My mission is still to simply become who I am meant to be and right know I am hurting for my young people. Seeing some who struggled come so far yet letting the ones who were so close go through a time of darkness and uncertainty. Uncertainty in who they are and not just what they believe. What I fear most is that if the origin of their uncertainty was in any way or part a deficiencies of character they saw in me. I feel responsible for these friends, and will strive to serve them better than I have done to this point. To be patient and to be a friend, and I hope to have the ability to understand exactly who they are and what they are searching for.